I am that dish.
You know the one.
The dish that you put in the dishwasher that doesn't get clean, so you leave it in the dishwasher for about 5 or 6 wash cycles until you finally admit defeat to the gods of Palmolive and Jet Dry, take it out, wash it by hand, and put it away.
I am that dish.
I put myself into the shower. Typically this happens once a day, though I've been known to skip a wash cycle now and then. Sometimes I forget to add the detergent. Or maybe I forget to use the detergent on part of myself. Either way, I don't come out as clean as I should.
Sometimes I have some food crusted onto myself, somewhere. Sometimes I forget it's there and it doesn't get washed off. Sometimes I scrub only half of my body. It's not that I don't mean to or want to scrub the other half, it's that before I can finish the process, I hear a baby crying, or a toddler yelling for me to save her from the ghost sitting on her rocking chair.
In the last 6 months, more than once I've only shaved one leg. Let me just tell you how embarrassing this can be when you're sitting somewhere, talking to another adult that completely washes him/herself everyday, and you look down beyond the hem on your capri pants to see that OH NO I DITENT... and you quickly cross your legs the other way to show the shaven one off and hide that you, perhaps, are the missing link between Cro-Magnon man and Homo sapiens.
This is me. I never thought I'd be this scatter-brained. Nor that I'd admit to showering so haphazardly. Nevermind the serious maintenance that needs to be done -- like scrubbing my feet and applying moisturizer. It just ain't happening. I used to look at moms and think "Wow, she's really let herself go." Boy, do I get it now.
So say a little prayer for me that for this wedding I have to go to this weekend, I will manage to shave all the shaveables and wear the right bra and underwear and remember to put in nursing pads, and I can't forget to paint my toenails, oh and I need to loofa the backs of my arms, and, oh no! I am out of razor cartridges, and...
The dish that you put in the dishwasher that doesn't get clean, so you leave it in the dishwasher for about 5 or 6 wash cycles until you finally admit defeat to the gods of Palmolive and Jet Dry, take it out, wash it by hand, and put it away.
I am that dish.
I put myself into the shower. Typically this happens once a day, though I've been known to skip a wash cycle now and then. Sometimes I forget to add the detergent. Or maybe I forget to use the detergent on part of myself. Either way, I don't come out as clean as I should.
Sometimes I have some food crusted onto myself, somewhere. Sometimes I forget it's there and it doesn't get washed off. Sometimes I scrub only half of my body. It's not that I don't mean to or want to scrub the other half, it's that before I can finish the process, I hear a baby crying, or a toddler yelling for me to save her from the ghost sitting on her rocking chair.
In the last 6 months, more than once I've only shaved one leg. Let me just tell you how embarrassing this can be when you're sitting somewhere, talking to another adult that completely washes him/herself everyday, and you look down beyond the hem on your capri pants to see that OH NO I DITENT... and you quickly cross your legs the other way to show the shaven one off and hide that you, perhaps, are the missing link between Cro-Magnon man and Homo sapiens.
This is me. I never thought I'd be this scatter-brained. Nor that I'd admit to showering so haphazardly. Nevermind the serious maintenance that needs to be done -- like scrubbing my feet and applying moisturizer. It just ain't happening. I used to look at moms and think "Wow, she's really let herself go." Boy, do I get it now.
So say a little prayer for me that for this wedding I have to go to this weekend, I will manage to shave all the shaveables and wear the right bra and underwear and remember to put in nursing pads, and I can't forget to paint my toenails, oh and I need to loofa the backs of my arms, and, oh no! I am out of razor cartridges, and...
Labels: random unimportant nonsense
posted by allison at 6:10 PM
4 Comments:
At 8:43 PM,
Glaciermeow said…
That's so me too! Great post :)
At 7:13 AM,
Baby Rae said…
If I lived anywhere close to you I would so take your kids, give you $ and have you spend the afternoon to get a pedicure for the wedding!! Time to relax... and have someone else pamper you so you can make sure 1/2 of what needs to be done will be done for the wedding. :)
Isn't it funny how you look back to comments you've made and that light bulb inside our heads clicks on - yes, now we know why!! Motherhood is NOT easy. No one tells us this though. But we all manage somehow don't we. I know as I mom I can say been there done that... my motto "I only have 2 hands". LOL
No matter what happens, ENJOY the wedding!!! Have a couple (or more) glasses of wine, smile, laugh and just enjoy the night.
Hugs,
- Lisa (Taylor Made)
At 2:16 PM,
Kristie said…
Girl, you are seriously on a roll with these funny posts!
I've always heard women talk about babies zapping the brain cells out of their heads. Now, I get it. I do dumb, scatter-brained shit all the time. It's a running joke around here that I'll be dumber than dirt before we're done makin' babies. :)
I'm sure you still look gorgeous, even if you are only part clean. Have fun at the wedding!
At 7:27 PM,
SarahRachel said…
I hope you had fun at the wedding and took some pics to share! =) I hardly think you qualify in the "letting yourself go" category. You're a hottie mama! ;) But I hear you on the shortened showers and single shaved leg! ;)
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