June 2008

Summer has been busy. I forgot that last summer my teacher friends were all off of work and I suddenly had a lot more playdates and midweek things to do! So we've been busy here playing and reading and learning to ride tricycles. We've had lots of stubbed toes because the girls refuse to keep their shoes on outside and it's maddening following them around all day reminding them to put their shoes back on. When do kids learn to walk without constantly hurting themselves?!?!?

Here are some recent pictures, and at the bottom, a video of our SWEET and CHARMING Ainsley May :)







A personal favorite...





And the video, entitled, "Stupid Mommy."

This would SO make my 2009...

I've heard here and there that an "Arrested Development" movie is supposedly in the works. If you were a fan of the show and hadn't heard this rumor before, I've no doubt you're cheering at home, alone, in your underwear, practicing your "Waiter, get me a vodka!" routine. How freaking AWESOME would that be???


(This photo shamelessly stolen from the Fox Website)

Just had to document...

I listened to Ainsley count to ten today with no prompting or encouraging from me whatsoever! Love it!!!

I need an intervention

I am completely addicted to playing Scrabulous both on Facebook and on the Scrabulous.com website. HELP!

Fiesty little one...

Mourning the loss of a favorite pasttime...

I've thought a lot since having children that one thing I always loved to do (and still do, really) when I was a kid all the way to my college years and even into my married life was to prank call people.

MAN, I love to prank call people.

It used to be such a simple way to totally annoy other people anonymously while completely amusing yourself to the point of almost peeing your pants. What could be more fun than that? Really?

With the invention of *69 and Caller ID, I'm afraid that calling the neighbors to ask questions like "Is your refrigerator running?" and the bowling alley to inquire about whether or not they have 12-pound balls and, if so, how they fit them into their pants are falling by the bad joke wayside. I have to admit, I've mourned this for quite some time. How can childhood be the same without being able to call someone and ask if I.P. Freely is there?

Some of my favorite episodes of the Tonight Show are when Dave Letterman steals random things from the TGIFriday's across the street from the Ed Sullivan Theater and then calls them afterward to say he's holding the item for ransom. Funny, funny stuff.

I just wonder what has replaced prank calling for teenagers today? Prank texting? Leaving anonymous comments on each other's My Space page? Who knows. I'm sure it's not nearly as amusing as calling Target and asking them to page a customer named "Mike Hunt." How could anything ever compare???

Dear Tina Fey:

I love you.
That is all.

Mother's Day

For Mother's Day this year we went to our favorite little breakfast restaurant nearby and had some awesome pancakes, French toast, scrambled eggs, etc. Afterward we drove up to Lake Arrowhead and hiked around for a while before going to the lake and wandering around the village shops for a couple of hours. It was a nice, leisurely morning. On the way down the hill I wanted to look at the pictures on my camera and ended up making myself carsick -- not to the point of actually puking, but definitely to the point of feeling woozy and like I was turning green. Add two whiny kids in their carseats directly behind your head that keep dropping whatever their treasured toy of the day was and begging me to pick it up again and again... that part = not so fun.

We tried for a family portrait, but only managed to get half of us into the picture.



Ainsley started melting down a little at the end of our hike because she wanted to walk it herself, which is totally fine, but not in the parts where there was lots of loose rock next to a cliff edge. She is so not afraid of things like this I kept envisioning her sliding down the hill and rolling and tumbling to the bottom. Next time we'll do a flat, safe, desert walkabout or something.



Jed and the kids got me a new tripod as a gift, too. I haven't really checked it out a ton yet, but it does lots more things than my old one did. Yay!

A SAHM's Dream Come True...

I used to wish for diamonds and Cristal and trips to the French Riviera. Now I wish for maids and chefs and chauffeurs. Five minutes of peace so I can drop a deuce after my morning coffee would be nice, too.

Not good for my self-esteem...

Avery has come into a phase of brutal honesty. She constantly tells me things that challenge my view of myself.

In the morning, she comes into my room to find either me or Jed. I'm usually already up and maybe gone walking the dogs. But if I'm still there, she'll get into bed and cuddle with me. Once we're all comfy and snuggled together, she'll say something like, "Mom, your breath stinks. You should really brush your teeth."

Yes, I know dear. If you didn't wake up so early I might have already showered and gotten those important things done.

This morning while I was changing clothes she said, "Mom, kids don't have boobs. Adults have boobs, though. Yours are big and droopy."

Uh-huh. That's because you breastfed every three hours for a year, Avery. I blame it on you.

Last week in the dressing room at Target, she said, "Mom, those pants aren't going to fit you. You are all fat and chubby!"

I guess I can count on her to really tell me like it is...

It works the other way, too. She tells me on a regular basis, "Mom, you're so beautiful and precious. You're my precious darling."

Love her, that little stinker.

(click to enlarge)

Working with RAW -- my next step...

I'm trying out RAW files for my photography. Not sure if I'm sold... the files take up so much more room than fine .jpg files. But here's an edit I did today that I thought I'd share. If I were to print it, I'd print the CS3 edit, not the B&W with texture... just for fun.

So heartbreaking...

I recently photographed a woman named Heather who runs mom4life.com. We took maternity pictures in some local spots around town and I was really happy with the results. She found out yesterday at 37 weeks that her baby boy no longer had a heartbeat. Another friend, Sarah, contacted someone at the "Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep" foundation to help photograph him once he's born. I feel so heartbroken over the thought of this happening to anyone, but especially someone as wonderful as as Heather. I don't feel like these photographs were taken in vain -- I feel like they're all the more special now. Just such terrible news...

500% margin of error...

3 years old
plus 2 shoes
times 100% of the time
equals 500% margin of error

Family Circus Snapshots

Click to enlarge if you like :)

Bobble Head Bathers

The REAL reason I chose to procreate...

107/366

Testing Flickr's post-to-blog...

Crimony...

I've been on an extended blogging hiatus. People who I don't want to read my blog keep Googling and finding me and then referring to things I've written here to my horror, because if they only went far enough back into the archives, they'd have found some shit I'd written about them and I'd be waking up to toilet papered trees and a paper bag filled with something awful on fire on my porch.

SO! I resolve to blog again. Voila!

My little problem solver...

So we're expected at a birthday party this Saturday. Avery saw the invitation and got all excited at the prospect of cake and games and 3-year-old mayhem. I explained to her that there might be a chance that we could have to go to the hospital if my SIL is having her baby that day and we wouldn't be able to go to the party. Here's the exchange that resulted from this heartbreaking news:

Avery: "But Mom, I want to go to Jacob's birthday party!"

Me: "Well, Avery, I do too, but if Auntie Jodi is having her baby, we will want to go visit him that day at the hospital."

Avery: "But I don't want to go to the hospital, I want to go to the birthday party instead!"

Me: "Avery, I'm sure we'll be able to go to the party, I was just letting you know that there might be a chance we'll go to the hospital if Auntie Jodi's baby is coming."

Avery: "Mom, can't Auntie Jodi have her baby at Jacob's party?"

Me: Hysterical Laughter

I'm sure Auntie Jodi would much rather be surrounded by Labor and Delivery nurses than Pin-the-Tail-on-the-Donkey and a Dora Pinata. I'll be sure to suggest Avery's brilliant solution to our problem to her, though.

Blog move, again...

My poor blog has gone through too many moves in its lifetime. If you're still with me, thanks for sticking around :)

Amazing...

It's amazing how something I thought was impossible way back when could affect me so deeply. Years ago I joined a couple of "Trying To Conceive" type forums and 'met' several people who ended up getting pregnant the same month that I did. I could never have imagined that I would become such close friends with some of them. Many of them I have met along the way, many of them I probably never will. I don't think I could explain this to anyone who has never been a part of a community like this.

In many cases, I tell them things that I don't tell most of my "real" friends. I am a part of such a community for Ainsley, and we found out that one of our fellow moms was stabbed to death by her husband this past weekend. You cam imagine right now we're sort of in that "can we do anything" phase. I suspect as the days go on it will really sink in. I was reading a news report about it this morning and got so choked up Avery looked at me with great concern and wanted to comfort me.

I can't imagine how I would feel if someone in my group of women with babies born around when Avery was born was hurt or killed. Those women are some of my closest friends, crazy I know. Some of us became friends way back when we were posting on Fertility Friend and now our kids are all starting preschool and picking out their own clothes in the morning.

Sorry for the sappy post, I'm just kind of sick over this. This woman was really trying to put her life together and leave her abusive husband. What a complete and total tragedy.

Sometimes...

I dream about wearing these around the house all day. It'd really help block out the "mommy mommy mommy mommy mommy" and the "wah wah wah wah wah" and the whine whine whine whine whine from the dogs.

Can you tell I woke up on the wrong side of the bed?

So I Live Next to an Ax Murderer

A few days ago, my beloved and gorgeous and vivacious and beautiful, intelligent, witty, and weird friend Anna called to tell me that someone on my street had been arrested for taping up his wife with duct tape, threatening her with an ax, and then chopping up random things around their house in an attempt to show her how serious he was. The wife managed to call 911, but got disconnected somehow, and then the son got through again after his dad sent him to go get a gun. Apparently the guy is in jail right now and they have removed several guns from the house. Not really a funny story at all, but here's what kills me about the whole thing.

We have a "Neighborhood Watch." I've lived in neighborhoods with this system before, and I've never really seen much except for the signs saying the neighborhood was involved in it. Not this neighborhood. This neighborhood has meetings, we have phone lists, and an organized phone tree for emergencies.

From time to time, we'll get calls on our organized phone tree to let us know that so-and-so had his mail stolen or somebody's welcome mat disappeared from their front porch. I think a few times someone has reported a lost dog, and maybe even someone had a pie stolen off of their kitchen windowsill once. These are the things that have warranted mass hysteria and every single household on the street was notified about it.

But I have to get a phone call from a friend whose husband's dad's coworkers notified him that some wacko had moved in for the winter and tried to pull a "Here's Johnny" on his wife in broad daylight.

I wonder what the lady who called to report a stolen pie thinks about that?

1/366

So I decided that I am going to do this 365 project thing, only I think it's really 366 since 2008 is a leap year. Since I've been suffering from the stomach flu since yesterday (lots better today...) I thought it'd be fitting to incorporate how I've spent my new year so far.

Happy 2008!

Boooooooo

So last week, someone sent me an email via the Flickr website to let me know that they'd seen pictures of my kids on a different website and they'd been uploaded into two different people's photo albums. I checked out the photo albums and, even though I know no one hurt my kids and no real harm came to me because of it, it made me kind of sick to my stomach to see.

So, I may not share many pictures of the girls from here on out, just because my watermark is all over my pictures and it sends the photo-thieves right here, so I can't really post them here either.

Sometimes the internet really sucks.

Of course, this doesn't even begin to compare to the time that someone I "met" on the internet looked up my real name on Google or whatever and found out my place of work and actually called my boss. No, it's not nearly as mind-bending and that.

Anyway, all this to say, if you click on my Flickr link and don't see many pics of the girls but want to, please add me as a friend and I'll add you right back, provided I either know you or you share pics of your kids and participate in the Flickr community.

I'm super bummed about all of this and pretty pissed that the people who took the pics seem to think it's all fine and dandy, but I've moved past it.

Happy Holidays!

We're busy buying and wrapping gifts over here -- we hope everyone has a Merry Christmas!

Goals.

So I've heard it's good to have goals. Goals help you achieve things you might not normally achieve. Goals help you focus and they help give your life meaning. I'm starting small. My goal for 2008 is to start setting some goals for myself.

My kind of guy...

Not something you'd expect from a 64-year-old man. That's what makes it classic.

Recipe for Boiled Fish

Ingredients:

Large glass bowl - one gallon size
One gallon of water
Assorted small rocks
One plastic plant
One goldfish

Directions:

Ask husband to clean fish's bowl
Leave the house without any further instructions
Return one hour later

VOILA!

I used to blog...

and now I Flickr.

No really. I'm hopelessly addicted. Quick! Stick a patch on me! Get me into a 21 day program! Make me a martini! Oh wait, get me a beer too! I need a different addiction!

I'm all jacked up on Mountain Dew!

(That's a shout out to you, Anna)

So, I had too much caffeine today. Like WAY too much caffeine. Made myself a latte at home, then my friend brought me a latte out of the blue, then I had a diet coke. Not a typical day for me and my caffeine consumption. So anyway, as a result of this, I had to use the bathroom twice when I took the girls to the library today. We'd walked there from another part of town to begin with, so I had the double stroller, and those things don't fit in many public restrooms. This was no exception.

So, after using the library bathroom for the second time in an afternoon, I wondered (here's where too much caffeine = weird thoughts...) -- what is the point of having one part of the hand-washing system in a bathroom be 'hands-free?'

I mean, let's say the sink is an automatic hands free sink. Doesn't it sort of defeat the purpose to then have to use an old fashioned crank handle paper towel dispenser? Or, let's say they have an air dryer to dry your hands after you've used their hands free sink. Why then does the door handle HAVE to be one you pull on to get it open, and then because there's only an air dryer, you can't even grab a paper towel to use to grab the nasty door handle on your way out.

I'm just saying... isn't it kind of like all or nothing? Are they really helping me by making me grab a disgusting door handle to get out when everyone, regardless of whether they washed their hands or not, has also grabbed the same door handle before me?

Help me understand this.

These boots were made for trippin'

I videotaped Avery singing the other day. Immediately afterward (and after I warned her on the video not to do what she did) she fell off of the pool table and skinned her knees. Here is the result (click to enlarge).



And here's the video... quite the performer with her twang and all. Did Nancy Sinatra have twang?

Fall!

We've been busy at all the local spots that are fun in fall to get pumpkins, cider, and pick apples. Avery asks to go to the pumpkin patch several times a week. She recently discovered that they have like 17 different jumpy house things, and she wants to try out each one. I'm having a hard time coughing up FIVE freaking dollars for each one so she can jump for like a minute and a half, but unfortunately Avery doesn't understand what a rip off the pumpkin patch is.

My husband is getting started with the irrigation in our front and back yard this weekend so the girls and I are headed to Grammy Gigi's house to escape the sounds of trenchers and pick-axes.

I have a TON of pictures to share as well... but then, you probably expected that.

Having fun with the red tutu (click to enlarge):



Visited some friends that are buying an old Victorian on Walnut Street -- SUCH a great place to take pictures...





We also vistied the local Mission for "Adobe Days," but they were cancelled. I snapped a couple of pics there just for fun.


Having fun with a mirror:



Ainsley practiced putting on blush...


Which tired her out...


Met up with our photography friends at the library:





Ainsley and her tongue :)


Visit to the Pumpkin Patch:





Apple Picking:



Fun with the pool table...



Teddy Bear Picnic:



Trying on Halloween costumes:


And last, but not least, Avery being her moody, grouchy, almost-three-year-old self.

Master Baster

My husband is a complete and total master baster. He's pretty much master basted every night this week. One of the nights he actually was master basting and then realized his meat wasn't done, so he went to master baste it some more.

It's kind of driven a wedge between us. He's spending too much of his free time master basting, talking about master basting, learning how to be a better master baster. I'm just not sure what to do.

Get this, though. He's been doing all this master basting in our backyard. The nerve. He spends all of his time with Barbie. Barbie Q. She's all shiny and perty and she's hot. REALLY hot. He even bought extra long tongs to handle his meat when he's with her. I just don't know what to do.

Seriously now...

The construction of our yard is, GASP, done. I still expect someone to always be outside my window. Even when I'm showering. They were there for more than six months. You get used to it. Sorta. It's like living in a fish bowl. I'm doing that fish face lip pucker thing right now. Swear.

Here are some pics of the whole progression. I sort of slacked in the end, but you get the picture. I have more to add but I'll have to do it later. It's almost dinner time and my husband needs help tossing the salad.

Pictures, by request

My friend Anna has emailed me like 42 times in the last couple of days begging me to add more pictures of my kids to my blog. I don't want to let her down.

The weather has been better here -- the temps are much lower... kind of cold actually. But Jed's blood pressure is higher after seeing our electic bill from August. 110 degrees = air conditioned house.

No more pictures, Mom!









Water balloon fight in the park: