June 2008

Summer has been busy. I forgot that last summer my teacher friends were all off of work and I suddenly had a lot more playdates and midweek things to do! So we've been busy here playing and reading and learning to ride tricycles. We've had lots of stubbed toes because the girls refuse to keep their shoes on outside and it's maddening following them around all day reminding them to put their shoes back on. When do kids learn to walk without constantly hurting themselves?!?!?

Here are some recent pictures, and at the bottom, a video of our SWEET and CHARMING Ainsley May :)







A personal favorite...





And the video, entitled, "Stupid Mommy."

Mother's Day

For Mother's Day this year we went to our favorite little breakfast restaurant nearby and had some awesome pancakes, French toast, scrambled eggs, etc. Afterward we drove up to Lake Arrowhead and hiked around for a while before going to the lake and wandering around the village shops for a couple of hours. It was a nice, leisurely morning. On the way down the hill I wanted to look at the pictures on my camera and ended up making myself carsick -- not to the point of actually puking, but definitely to the point of feeling woozy and like I was turning green. Add two whiny kids in their carseats directly behind your head that keep dropping whatever their treasured toy of the day was and begging me to pick it up again and again... that part = not so fun.

We tried for a family portrait, but only managed to get half of us into the picture.



Ainsley started melting down a little at the end of our hike because she wanted to walk it herself, which is totally fine, but not in the parts where there was lots of loose rock next to a cliff edge. She is so not afraid of things like this I kept envisioning her sliding down the hill and rolling and tumbling to the bottom. Next time we'll do a flat, safe, desert walkabout or something.



Jed and the kids got me a new tripod as a gift, too. I haven't really checked it out a ton yet, but it does lots more things than my old one did. Yay!

Not good for my self-esteem...

Avery has come into a phase of brutal honesty. She constantly tells me things that challenge my view of myself.

In the morning, she comes into my room to find either me or Jed. I'm usually already up and maybe gone walking the dogs. But if I'm still there, she'll get into bed and cuddle with me. Once we're all comfy and snuggled together, she'll say something like, "Mom, your breath stinks. You should really brush your teeth."

Yes, I know dear. If you didn't wake up so early I might have already showered and gotten those important things done.

This morning while I was changing clothes she said, "Mom, kids don't have boobs. Adults have boobs, though. Yours are big and droopy."

Uh-huh. That's because you breastfed every three hours for a year, Avery. I blame it on you.

Last week in the dressing room at Target, she said, "Mom, those pants aren't going to fit you. You are all fat and chubby!"

I guess I can count on her to really tell me like it is...

It works the other way, too. She tells me on a regular basis, "Mom, you're so beautiful and precious. You're my precious darling."

Love her, that little stinker.

(click to enlarge)

500% margin of error...

3 years old
plus 2 shoes
times 100% of the time
equals 500% margin of error

My little problem solver...

So we're expected at a birthday party this Saturday. Avery saw the invitation and got all excited at the prospect of cake and games and 3-year-old mayhem. I explained to her that there might be a chance that we could have to go to the hospital if my SIL is having her baby that day and we wouldn't be able to go to the party. Here's the exchange that resulted from this heartbreaking news:

Avery: "But Mom, I want to go to Jacob's birthday party!"

Me: "Well, Avery, I do too, but if Auntie Jodi is having her baby, we will want to go visit him that day at the hospital."

Avery: "But I don't want to go to the hospital, I want to go to the birthday party instead!"

Me: "Avery, I'm sure we'll be able to go to the party, I was just letting you know that there might be a chance we'll go to the hospital if Auntie Jodi's baby is coming."

Avery: "Mom, can't Auntie Jodi have her baby at Jacob's party?"

Me: Hysterical Laughter

I'm sure Auntie Jodi would much rather be surrounded by Labor and Delivery nurses than Pin-the-Tail-on-the-Donkey and a Dora Pinata. I'll be sure to suggest Avery's brilliant solution to our problem to her, though.

Boooooooo

So last week, someone sent me an email via the Flickr website to let me know that they'd seen pictures of my kids on a different website and they'd been uploaded into two different people's photo albums. I checked out the photo albums and, even though I know no one hurt my kids and no real harm came to me because of it, it made me kind of sick to my stomach to see.

So, I may not share many pictures of the girls from here on out, just because my watermark is all over my pictures and it sends the photo-thieves right here, so I can't really post them here either.

Sometimes the internet really sucks.

Of course, this doesn't even begin to compare to the time that someone I "met" on the internet looked up my real name on Google or whatever and found out my place of work and actually called my boss. No, it's not nearly as mind-bending and that.

Anyway, all this to say, if you click on my Flickr link and don't see many pics of the girls but want to, please add me as a friend and I'll add you right back, provided I either know you or you share pics of your kids and participate in the Flickr community.

I'm super bummed about all of this and pretty pissed that the people who took the pics seem to think it's all fine and dandy, but I've moved past it.

These boots were made for trippin'

I videotaped Avery singing the other day. Immediately afterward (and after I warned her on the video not to do what she did) she fell off of the pool table and skinned her knees. Here is the result (click to enlarge).



And here's the video... quite the performer with her twang and all. Did Nancy Sinatra have twang?

Fall!

We've been busy at all the local spots that are fun in fall to get pumpkins, cider, and pick apples. Avery asks to go to the pumpkin patch several times a week. She recently discovered that they have like 17 different jumpy house things, and she wants to try out each one. I'm having a hard time coughing up FIVE freaking dollars for each one so she can jump for like a minute and a half, but unfortunately Avery doesn't understand what a rip off the pumpkin patch is.

My husband is getting started with the irrigation in our front and back yard this weekend so the girls and I are headed to Grammy Gigi's house to escape the sounds of trenchers and pick-axes.

I have a TON of pictures to share as well... but then, you probably expected that.

Having fun with the red tutu (click to enlarge):



Visited some friends that are buying an old Victorian on Walnut Street -- SUCH a great place to take pictures...





We also vistied the local Mission for "Adobe Days," but they were cancelled. I snapped a couple of pics there just for fun.


Having fun with a mirror:



Ainsley practiced putting on blush...


Which tired her out...


Met up with our photography friends at the library:





Ainsley and her tongue :)


Visit to the Pumpkin Patch:





Apple Picking:



Fun with the pool table...



Teddy Bear Picnic:



Trying on Halloween costumes:


And last, but not least, Avery being her moody, grouchy, almost-three-year-old self.

Pictures, by request

My friend Anna has emailed me like 42 times in the last couple of days begging me to add more pictures of my kids to my blog. I don't want to let her down.

The weather has been better here -- the temps are much lower... kind of cold actually. But Jed's blood pressure is higher after seeing our electic bill from August. 110 degrees = air conditioned house.

No more pictures, Mom!









Water balloon fight in the park:

HOT, HOT, HOT

There's nothing like weeks on end of 100+ degree weather to make you want to do absolutly NOTHING. Poor Avery wants to play outside so badly, and then goes out there and turns right back around. We've been trying to go out in the evenings, but even then, it's too hot to do much more than stand in the shade.

I still have a pretty bad computer situation... but Jed bought me one for my birthday, so it'll be here in a couple of weeks. Maybe then I'll somehow magically find the time to blog and read my friends' blogs.

Just a few pictures...

Hanging around:


"Mom, I found a Chuck E. Cheese coin -- can we go there?"


Cutie pie...


Stormy Sky -- the view from our backyard:


Baby in a Bowl, take one:


Baby in a Bowl, take two:


Around town at little spots I've been wanting to take pics of...

Lollipop, Lollipop

Just wanted to share a few pictures from my "photoshoot" with Avery the other day. This is the first time I specifically dressed her in something, had props, and used a specific location. I don't know if I'll do that again anytime soon. HAHA

From the weekend

All of the pictures I've taken recently of Ainsley are pretty terrible. I don't know what it is. Maybe it's because I'm having fun putting Avery in certain situations and she's actually (mostly) cooperating? Don't know. I'll work on that. I figure, too, since Ainsley's birthday party is this Saturday, I'll have a ton of her from that day, so I'll end up balancing it all out, right?






And we met a bunch of firemen last Friday at a local park. It was fun!

Today's Captures

And just for a good laugh...

Some pictures from today...

Just practicing...

Getting the hang of...

black and white. Or am I?

Move over Kenny G!

M-I-C-K-E-Y

We spent too many hours walking around Disneyland yesterday. We didn't take Ainsley, she stayed home with grandma. Avery lucked out and got to meet Mickey, Pooh, and Eeyore. This is the second time she's met Mickey and we've only taken her twice. We're 2 for 2!

Click the picture for the whole set of pics.

I know, I know

I am slacking.

My mom got married on Sunday. It made life stressful for a few days. All is better now.

Here are a couple of random pictures -- I haven't been a good photo-taker lately. I tried taking the girls to the park today to feed the ducks, and let's just say it's not easy to take pictures with a heavy camera and hold a baby with your other arm. I have a velcro baby right now. This too shall pass.

In the meadow

Fairy wings and fuzzy boots

Your guess is as good as mine

I don't know what's more disturbing -- the fact that Avery is pinning Ainsley down trying to freeze her with an ice pack, or that there's a bottle of liquid pain reliever just laying on the floor amidst the random toys.

Watching a squirrel

...outside the window.

Dear Auntie Anna

My mommy says you'll take a picture with me in this very same spot in 18 1/2 years.

Love, Avery

Off for the weekend

We're off to Vegas again this weekend to hang out with some friends. The kids will be joining us, so probably no pictures of me double-fisting cans of Bud Light and flipping you off. Yes, YOU!

Here are a few pictures from this week. I have been horrible at taking pictures of the girls lately -- there was actually a 10-day gap in dates in my downloaded pictures folders. Yikes! My sister would kill me if she knew that, so please don't tell her.

Aww, they could almost be friends...


Must. Get. Hamburger. Bun!


Wow, when did she grow up so much?


"I'm too tired for this, mom!"

Dear Terminix

Please, for the love of all that is good and decent, quit using your freaky scare tactics on my two-year-old. Your disembodied entomological wall face mutants are not helping my "there is no monster in your shutters/on your wall/in your closet/on your door" problems.


That is all.

Just one more

to file under "toilet humor."

Today I put Avery on the potty and then came back to the living room to talk with my husband and a man doing some wrought iron work for us. A minute later Avery came running out from the bathroom to tell me she made a poop. I took her around the corner to wipe her and told her we'd go flush the poop together in a minute.

The wrought iron guy left and we went about our business. After a while, Avery said to me, "Mom, can you check on my poop? I think he's getting lonely."

He was, indeed, so we flushed him down to be with his kind.

I know I'm probably boring some of you to death with this potty training 'crap' (pun intended) but it's hysterical to me, so you won't mind my blogging about it despite my used-to-be-loyal blog readers dropping like flies.

I'm pretty sure this is it...

I know it will only get worse, and that terrifies me.

I'm talking about "The Most Embarrassing Moment" in my life as a parent.

About two weeks ago, Avery had just done her business on the potty and was running around celebrating her enormous turd by clapping and doing backflips and singing the praises of The Potty. She was naked and happy, so I let her run and have a little nakey time.

Then I realized she was standing in front of the sliding glass door, where outside, 6 or 8 men were working to build our monstrosity of a backyard construction project. I told her "Avery, come away from the window. The workers don't want to see you naked." She obliged and that was that.

Until this morning.

The foreman on the job, Don, wanted to talk about something with me, so I stood on the back patio with him and Avery wanted to follow. We chatted for a few minutes, and then he turned his attention to her and asked her how she was doing, blah blah. She told him she was eating her breakfast and then, with a perplexed face, asked him, "Don, you don't want to see me naked?"

You can imagine the look on my face as I looked at her with that "OH MY GOD NO YOU DITENT" kind of face, and then at him with that "I promise I don't tell her to say these things" kind of face. I felt the need to explain to him why she'd just said what she'd just said, lest he go on to believe that we have some weird stuff going on in our house and that's why she's offering to flash him and all of his hired help.

We're to the point in our house that we don't say anything in front of Avery unless we're comfortable with her repeating it to anyone and everyone.

Now there's a quaint little story for her scrapbook, no?

Snapshots

I cannot, in good conscience, label this post "Photography." Snapshots will have to do.

First swim for Ainsley:


Playing Peek-A-Boo:


Isn't she looking so much... older? I'm not sure that's the word, but she's changed a lot.


Sucking on oranges and making a huge, sticky mess:


Eat your heart out, Zsa Zsa...

Yep, I do it...

After a few months, too. I am still doing it.

What is "it," you ask?

"It" is clapping for my daughter when she pees and poops on the potty chair. "It" is giving her gummy bears to keep her coming back for more pee and poop on the potty chair. "It" is reading her books about other fictitious toddlers who learned to go pee and poop on the potty chair and surely, she can do it too. "It" is getting so excited to see excrement in something more excrement receptacle-like and less excrement absorption-like that I sing the praises of The Potty. Receptacle=good. Absorbing contraption=bad.

For a while I felt so silly. I dreaded this time because it just seemed so dorky to clap for your kid when he/she took a dump in a plastic bowl. Then you change hundreds of diapers, and realize that, not only are you clapping for your child's accomplishment, but you're clapping, too, for the fact that HELL YES, I will not have to wipe this child's butt for much longer. Butt wiping is highly overrated.

At some point when the clapping started and the dorky feeling set in, I realized something. Someone (presumably my mother, father, and immediate family members) clapped and cheered and sang the praises of The Potty for me too. Someone squealed with delight when I took a dump in a plastic bowl for the first time too. Someone probably felt completely dorky that they were clapping for excrement and urine, just like I've felt.

Long live The Potty!

New family member

My mom's horse finally had her baby. He's a cute little thing, so tiny! These are miniature horses, so a newborn horse of this type is actually pretty small. Avery was very impressed and the horse was completely terrified. He is three days old here. Ain't he cute?

Avery, Version 2.5

Just for you, Nat :)

A Very Merry Unbirthday

It dawned on me about an hour after I put Avery to bed that she's officially 2 and a half today. Whew. And she's every bit of that.

Two days ago, both girls and I were in Target. Ainsley started to cry because she was tired, and I was in the checkout line trying to get out of there and get home. While we were standing in line and I was trying to calm Ainsley down, Avery said "Mom, Ainsley wants some milk from your boobs" just loud enough for every person around me to hear. It'd be an understatement to say I was embarrassed. I guess there's a reason why 2 1/2 year olds don't normally talk as much and as well -- they don't understand what's socially appropriate to say and/or keep to yourself.

I will take some "I'm 2-and-a-half" pictures tomorrow, so for now, just a picture of Ainsley May.

Averyisms

Every day she says something so funny to me, and every day I promise myself that I'll write it all down, and then I don't. So I'm going to list some funny Averyisms here.

Today she said to Murphy:
"Murphy, you're all covered with soft, furry, love hair!"

Yesterday:
While she was eating a french fry (yes, we eat them on occasion):
"I wonder how they got all that bread in there, Mom."

To me:
"Mom, dad has a job. And you don't have a job. But I have a job. I make a mess!"

Last week:
As I entered into her bedroom:
"Mom, you have great big huge boobs between your elbows!"
Thanks Avery, at least you didn't say they were between my knees.

To Winston:
"Winston, you're my best dog ever ever never."

A conversation in the car:
Avery -- "Mom, where's dad?"
Me -- "He's at work today."

Avery -- "Oh, yes. He is at work. But you don't go to work."
Me -- "No, I don't go to work."

Avery -- "Yes, you stay home with me instead."
Me -- "That's right honey. I stay home with you and I take care of you and feed you and play with you and read you books."

Avery -- "Yes, and you take me shopping!"
Me (laughing) -- "That's true, I do."

Duly Noted

Just a little sound advice. When your toddler says "Mommy, there's a snake outside the window!" Don't say, "Oh honey, it's just a stick" or "Oh honey, you're looking at the hose." Sometimes it's a good idea to actually check to make sure.

Riding the Rails

Interview with a Toddler

Waiting...

My mom's horse is due to have a baby tomorrow. We went over there hoping we'd get to see some action, but no dice. It turns out I no longer have patience for these things, having waited so damn long for my own offspring to come into this world, and I gave up on the waiting and came home.

Here are a couple of pictures of Avery hanging around the barn. She didn't really get what was going on and it'd be an understatement to say she didn't want to wait either. Not a 'waiter,' that one. We tried giving her some hay to chew on, but she looked at us like we were giving her hemlock or something and threw it on the ground.



Just a few more...

Trampoline fun

Our good friends have a trampoline and regularly invite us to come jump. This time I brought my camera AND I jumped with the kids. My friend took a few pics of us all jumping together. One of the pictures I took while sitting on the trampoline with Avery and her buddy was this one:


I love how it captures Avery's shadow in its entirety.

My friend snapped this one, which is about the only one of me where I'm not high in the air with some goofy look on my face. Avery and I had so much fun, it makes me want a trampoline too!

One more

Lazy Saturday

Just posting a few pics. We washed the cars today, went downtown to see a little bit of the Bicycle Classic, and then roamed around a few home improvement stores pricing dishwashers and vacuums. I dare say it doesn't get much more domestic than that.

We eat lunch outside quite a bit, but our backyard is currently under construction. So we've relocated the backyard activities to our front courtyard. And incidentally, they started on our backyard yesterday.


Working on my photography skills. This stuff is seriously complicated. This is straight out of the camera.


I don't think I've ever met a 7 month old with such expressive eyebrows.


More photography practice. This was work on composition. My lighting needs help.



And one last one of the child who chews everything:

Drive by blogging

Just coming back to reality after a weekend away in Santa Barbara. We went to the most gorgeous wedding ever, and of course I have no pictures because I was on a mission to have fun and big bulky cameras and beer don't mix well. I did take a picture of the mission that we could see directly across the street, however. It was so beautiful how they had it lit up at night.


My home business is coming along nicely. I'm still working on the website. I'll post it as soon as it's built.

I also thought I'd add a few pics just for no other reason than to try to be better at blogging. I apologize to my fellow bloggers whose blogs I used to read and reply on often. I am not ditching you, I'm just finding it tough to get the time. I told Jed yesterday that I need to get a job so I can sit and do nothing on the internet all day!

I'll start with the state of our yard. We're redoing the entire thing. Here is how it looked last summer.


Here's how it looks now. The girls enjoyed watching the destruction. We're in negotiations for what happens next right now. We're not quite sure what we're doing, but the plans are geting (somewhat) finalized.




Ainsley started to eat solids recently, so it takes more time for me to feed her. She is THRILLED with the process, as you can clearly see.


Here are just some random pictures...

This post is not about...

my Friday morning and how as I ordered myself a coffee, I looked down to watch Avery lean over and puke onto Ainsley, who was peacefully lounging in her carseat.

It's not about how I had to take Ainsley's socks and pants off and wipe her body and carseat clean with a pile of napkins while I sat in the middle of the floor in the middle of my favorite little coffee shop.

It's not about how I had to embarrassingly ask the barista dude to mop up my two-year-old's oatmeal with raisins that she'd eaten for breakfast two hours earlier, and how I had to stuff Ainsley's clothes and her blanket into a bag and carry them out, along with the vomit that covered them. It's not about how red my face must have been because, frankly, who wants to be that mom whose kid just puked all over the floor?

It's not about how Avery has continued to puke for three days and has only kept down a 1/2 a slice of bread since the morning of said oatmeal puking experience. It's not about how I've had to hold back her hair and clean up her vomit again and again and again. It's not about how I've changed her sheets three times in three days because she couldn't even keep a few teaspoons of water down.

It's not about how I have had NO sleep for the same three days because, to top it off, Ainsley MUST be teething and refuses to sleep. As I sit typing this, Jed is in her room trying to stop her from crying. He is going to fail and I am going to have to go in there, AGAIN, and try to handle things. This will be round four in the last 45 minutes.

It's not about how, after Avery puked at the coffee shop, and I derobed Ainsley and left the coffee shop coffeeless with a bag of vomit and dirty laundry in hand, that puke smell in my car wouldn't go away. There was no actual puke in my car, but the smell... oh the smell. I would try to describe it but I fear anyone reading might then puke themselves, and I can't be responsible for people's computers getting barfed upon just for the sake of some incredible usage of adjectives.

This post is not about how I cleaned every item that even might have come into contact with something barfy, and how after I was confident there was no hint of regurgitated oatmeal with raisins anywhere to be found, the barf smell continued on.

It's not about how, even after two full days of trying to let things air out and making sure nothing from the puke experience was within 20 feet of my car , even after it was all washed, my car smelled as though something was rotting and foul. It's not about how I searched over and over for something like a sippy cup full of milk or a partially eaten string cheese stick under my seat or between the cracks of the back seat. I found nothing. The stench continued.

This post is not about any of that.

This post is about something exponentially more disgusting and almost impossible to believe. It's about the moment when I realized what it was that was creating the stench. It's about that moment, when I zeroed in on where the smell was coming from and still didn't know what I was in for. It's about the moment when I pulled the car seat cover off of Avery's car seat and the smell was getting worse and I was gagging and my mouth was getting all full of saliva like it was my turn to vomit. It's about that very specific moment, when I had the padding and the carseat cover pulled to one side, and I looked down into the narrow, deep, compartment in the carseat where, SOMEHOW, separate from all of the vomit-filled experiences I'd been having for three full days, somehow getting puked and shat upon was only the tip of the iceburg in terms of what disgusting things were about to come into my life.

It's about that very succint second of my life, when I realized that sometime in the past, Avery clearly had had milk in her carseat, and she obviously had let it spill into the padding of the carseat without me noticing. It's about how all of that milk collected in this deep, narrow compartment underneath the padding in her carseat, inside of which NOTHING will fit, and begs the question -- WHY IS IT EVEN THERE?

It's about how I took the carseat out of the car, pulled everything off of it, and got a look at what was causing the smell. I have to say I would rather be puked and shat upon by a flu-bugged two-year-old than have to clean up this half solid, half liquid collection of milk that had been 'aging' in the depths of Avery's carseat for --- God only knows how long.